Am I a Dating Loser?

It’s the 21st century and women are still making the same dating mistakes. They are asking themselves the same age-old questions:

· Why can’t I find the perfect man?

· What’s wrong with me?

It’s Not Their fault

The truth is that women have been programmed – yes, programmed – into thinking they have to shape-shift into the “perfect” woman to make a relationship work. They are too eager to give up who they are because they don’t value themselves, and don’t understand men. Therefore, they end up dating a lot of men who are not relationship material. Another hard truth is that shape-shifting occurs only in fiction.

Women have been lied to and misled, by both society, and especially Hollywood, into thinking that fictional, romantic fluff actually exists in real world. As an example, any woman who saw the movie Jerry Maguire will remember the scene in which Jerry (Tom Cruise) looks intensely vulnerable at Dorothy (Renee Zellweger) and says: You. Complete. Me. Any woman in the theatre probably remembers the collective female sigh wishing a man would speak those words to her.

Dating Disasters

But, what woman really wants a man saying she completes him? Believing in the fictional romantic fluff has set the stage for dating drama as women sought out and then tried to fit into their unrealistic relationship expectations. As a result, women became bad-guy magnets. Many have experienced dating the following, wrong kind of man with disastrous consequences to their psyches:

Ø The guy with no ambition

Ø The guy who only wants to be sex partners

Ø The guy who drinks too much

Ø The guy who cheats

Ø The psychological abuser

Ø The guy who’s a closeted gay

What Went Wrong?

They tried to be that perfect woman for these men and became someone other than themselves to please them. When a decent man comes along, they became needy making it the man’s responsibility to reassure them. They became clingy thinking that if they were together all the time, he couldn’t fall out of love with them. The relationship became suffocating; the decent man bolted. What man wants someone who needs constant attention, affection, and encouragement?

Take Action

In order to have a healthy relationship, women need to do two things:

1. Learn the importance of self-worth, and recognize their unique beauty to become the confident, secure women they were created to be, and

2. Learn to understand how men think so they can behave and communicate in ways that men actually respond to.

When women accomplish the above, the dating-drama cycle will disappear and their two, age-old questions will become irrelevant.

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