How does one describe the friend zone? Some would describe it as an inhospitable place only rivaled by the Sahara Desert or Dante’s ninth circle of hell! What is it actually? This is the place in the male and female relationship where one party desires a more intimate relationship and the other simply prefers to be friends. This is generally thought of as something women do to men, but it has been known to work in reverse. The only thing worse than winding up in this relationship zone, is the fact that it is nearly impossible to leave!
How many movies or books have there been that depict the female heroine finally waking up to the fact that her soul mate had been in front of her all along? This may make good television but as with many things Hollywood, real life plays out much differently most of the time. If you have been friends with a woman for an extended period of time and the relationship has not moved forward, you have been friend zoned!
Are there exceptions to the rule? Of course, otherwise you would not have movies, books and anecdotes on the subject. Your female friend could in fact decide that you are her one and only, but do not think this is going to happen without some effort on your part. To be honest, the chances are very slim but just in case you feel that this “one” is worth the effort here are a few things you can do to stack the odds in your favor:
– Become the best you- work out, get a hobby, continue your education etc…
– Remove yourself, to a degree, from her call list. If you are always available day and night she will take you for granted.
– Date! One thing that is attractive to women is a man who is attractive to other women… as weird as that sounds it is true.
– Step out- at some point you will need to declare your desires otherwise there is no hope of leaving the zone.
Avoid the Zone
What we should be discussing here is how to avoid entering the penalty box of dating in the first place. Since the walls are high and escape is unlikely, you will be better served by never entering the friend only circle. How do you do that? For starters you are going to have to stand out in the crowd, and this does not just mean physically.
Gorgeous women have one thing in common, tons of men begging for their attention. To that end most men will shower her with gifts, hang on her every word and never disagree with a thing she says all in an attempt to impress her. It does not take long for that to get old, plus is ignores a woman’s baser instinct to find a man who can protect her. (If you cannot stand up to her, how can you stand up for her?)
Getting out of the friend zone is a battle that will take all of your faculties to win; the better solution is never to enter the fray. You can be friendly and a confidante, but you also have to be a man! Women, for the most part, will never consider dating a man who can be pushed around or manipulated easily. Finally, make sure you are clear about your intentions as early in the relationship as you possibly can, this does leave you open for rejection, but it may also prevent you being shuffled away to the friend zone.