Do women talk more than men do? A popular book in 2006 claimed that women used 20,000 words per day versus a mere 7,000 for men. This statistic created a lot of confusion for men, how in the world would they ever be able to communicate with these mysterious creatures! Thankfully, the study was apparently flawed as subsequent studies show men and women use approximately the same number of words daily. The true difference between the genders may be more in the goal of conversation; women are interested in details for the most part! So, how do you make conversation with a girl? It is not that difficult!
Contrary to popular belief, conversations with girls are not a sum total of words exchanged; in fact, the best way to talk to her is to first listen. When you really listen to wait she is saying you can pick up cues on what questions to ask or where to steer the conversation, and you had better believe she will notice! Taking a moment to listen to her will set you apart from the majority of men and bodes well for successive dates.
What type of questions should you ask when talking to a girl? For starters, try and avoid questions that are simple yes/no answers. Instead, shoot for open-ended questions that require some thought and may garner details. Instead of asking if she likes a particular band, class or movie; ask her what she likes. What, why and how are good words to remember when it comes to talking with a girl.
Remember when we said women were more interested in the details? You have to understand that when she asks you where you are from, she wants more than a city/state or country answer. Describe where you grew up in some detail, this will not only play to her conversational style but open up the dialogue. For example, if you tell her you grew up in sunny California just a few miles from the beach and surf shops, she can correctly infer a few things about you. You like the outdoors and probably enjoy surfing or going to the beach.
What are you truly passionate about? Can you turn the conversation in that direction? This is easy if you truly love what you do for a living, as this is a common icebreaker question. However, if what you do is not a particular passion, try to get to that topic of conversation as soon as possible. Why? When you love a topic, you can talk about it at great length and you will tend to be animated and engaged which will highlight your personality. On the flip side of this, ask her about her passions and then refer to tip number one!
Most men want to avoid silences or pauses in the conversation, and while you do not want them to drag on interminably do not try to instantly fill a lull. Doing so comes across as nervous and maybe even a little desperate. If the conversation winds down a bit, use this as an opportunity to sip your drink and make eye contact. It is unrealistic to expect the conversation to never pause, stay calm and confident, it will pick back up.
Will these methods always work? There are always exceptions to the rule, women who are less inclined to want to discuss in depth topics. However, if you stick to tip one about listening you will be able to determine her personality and adjust the conversation accordingly. You may be nervous at first and you should be prepared for the conversations that simply do not go well, just remember nothing ventured nothing gained!