Forcing issues is when a woman unwittingly convinces herself that patience, love and understanding will make a hard man love. What starts off as a virtuous mission quickly becomes a life-affirming duty. Woman to woman, I want to speak on how this won’t work.
So what if he keeps saying he is not ready or looking for what you are looking for, the man only needs time to know what he has in you, right? Wrong. He has already told you what he needs – and that plan doesn’t include you. Now here’s why you can’t understand this.
Women are naturally built to nurture. Nature’s animals instinctively enfold what belongs to them and by watching some of them, you get an accurate visualization of a woman’s role in the household. Her arms spread wide and encircle what belongs to her in a protective and nurturing stance. Women are thus acutely tuned to read and decipher the loneliness and pain of humanity so they can better serve their household’s needs. For single women, this skill would be turned to the object of their affection, as the need to love and be loved is as life-sustaining as the requirement to breathe and eat. It is in our nature to give and create and foster love.
The more resistant the man, the greater the longing to bring him into the bosom, an ode to the woman’s womb – the cocoon from which he first emerged – and instinctual point of reference men ultimately seek in the women they fasten their eyes upon. Women require little motivation to get into this nurturing role, as though the males were obstinate children needing correction and reinforced attention. All he needs is time and more love. Wrong again. He is a man not a caricature, who has told you what he needs, and his actions therefore have supported his words whether you can accept them or not. Now here’s why you should understand this.
Love cannot be manipulated or controlled. It occurs in various forms as water will – however, as proven in basic Chemistry, add a little something else, no matter what it is and the composition changes – thus the material can no longer stand by the same name. So be it with love. Add motive and it stops being love, it becomes something else. Add reason and you have changed the basic composition of love. Love just is and cannot be conformed to fit into our need to nurture and hold. That is called forcing issues.
While it is true that love’s magical properties include a softening of the heart and breaking down of walls, the power lies within its natural flow. This can be seen in many a testimony of hardened individuals who just simply fell in love and could not for the life of them prevent their hearts from turning into warm putty. In these situations, please note that the action and ensuing feelings germinated from the man, and were not forced upon by the woman. The woman was formed from the man’s rib and must be for him, not adjust herself to be for him.
The best gift you can give your object of affection is what he has asked you for. Respect his position. It may be that you once were there too, and if so, think back to how you felt about love, marriage and children. Would you want that relentless man at your neck breathing all manner of threat and conditional give-and-take games? I believe you would much rather the one who quietly stood by you while you sorted yourself out, being a non-judgemental friend who did not stick around to see whether or not you would change your mind.
Be that gift instead. Work on your own issues with not wanting to let him go, and be all the better for it. If he has let you know where you stand in his life – take it, and don’t pretend your ears are suddenly stuffed. Unrequited love has an uncanny way of turning women into needy, vindictive and bitter souls. Don’t do that to yourself, because you just never know who could come knocking on your door ready for your embrace – and find yourself in a place where you are unable to reciprocate.