Marriage is challenging. If you consider the myriad number of challenges that the average married couple must overcome, it’s remarkable that the divorce rate is only 50%.
People feel stress from work, from raising children, from lifestyle factors that lead to a very busy and full life. All this takes a toll, and the truth is that most couples will need some form of assistance in getting through the rough spots, and finding solutions for a better relationship.
Marriage Help Online – The 3 Questions That Matter
The traditional route of marriage counseling leads to a couple sitting across from a counselor, and analysing their past, and rehashing old hurts and pains that typically leads to more fighting. However, with more and more people looking for online solutions, there is a new kind of marriage assistance that is becoming popular – online marriage help.
This process is quite different, as instead of traveling to meet a person in an office, the couple can log in or communicate via phone or video conference, and have a meeting with a professional in that environment.
But before seeking any kind of assistance, there are three questions you should ask:
1. What If I’m Not Happy At The End?
This is the most important question to ask. Many therapists and counselors have it in their mind that they should be compensated based on their time, regardless of the outcome. For a hurting couple, this puts them in a challenging position, as they have no idea whether or not the assistance will be effective. If you can find a group that bases compensation on the outcome, then you’ve found someone who is confident that they can help you, as they are assuming the risk at that point. Make sure that the couple isn’t the only one taking a risk – that’s key.
2. How Will We Fix The Problem?
Many processes in couples therapy are lengthy, time-consuming, and frustrating. Whoever is helping you with your marriage should be able to outline their process from beginning to end in twenty seconds. If they can’t define how to fix the problem succinctly, chances are the process will be a long and arduous one.
3. Who Needs To Change, Me Or My Spouse?
Asking anyone offering marriage help this question is a test to see what kind of professional you’re dealing with. If they pick a side before they’ve heard the facts, then you know that they have a natural tendency to favor a certain party in the relationship. The correct answer is “yes”, as marriage is a two-way street, and to build it to something that is happy and fulfilling, both parties will likely need to make changes. It’s a rare case indeed when all the problems originate in one party in the relationship.
Asking these questions to anyone offering marriage help (online or offline) will help you make a much better decision about who to work with in getting a relationship on track. They give you insight into the person you are considering, and give you a sneak-peek into the process ahead.